Just once, I want to be able to scream. I want to be able to scream and cry and yell. Yell out everything that's inside me and what I'm feeling. To cry and throw a fit like a small child. I want to be able to yell out why I am who I am. What people have done to me. What I really hate about this world. To just scream and scream until I run out of breath and only tears are falling down my face and I just fall to the ground and cry and sob until I have nothing left inside me. Do all of this without anyone interrupting. They just stand there shocked and listening. They wouldn't scream back about how immature I'm being or how good my life is compared to others. They wouldn’t take me to therapy or counselling or tell me to shut the fuck up. They would just let me scream and cry. And at the end of all of it, I can just sit there crying and crying and they would just sit there and hold me. I would feel so free.
have you ever just laid in your bed and cried? and cried because you think your ugly, because your not good enough for anyone. you counted all your flaws from head to toe, to make you feel worse about yourself. cried because of all the comments people burst out, actually hurts ? cried because your family is dysfunctional and never understands you. but your just a kid and you can't change anything. they tell you to stop complaining, that you have it so much better than the kids in africa, even though they don't understand your life either ? you don't want to feel like an attention seeker, so you bottle everything up. around friends and family you create the lying smile and people believe it. but alone in bed, the girl who everyone thought was always so happy, is crying her broken heart out.